敬而远之

1. Basic Information

• Pinyin: jìng ér yuǎn zhī
• English Translation: Keep someone at arm's length (respect from a distance)
• Idiom Composition: 「敬」（To respect or show reverence (often as a formal or polite attitude)）＋「而」（And yet; but (a conjunction connecting the attitude to the action)）＋「远」（To keep at a distance; to stay away from）＋「之」（Him/her/it (a pronoun referring to the object being avoided)）
• Meaning: To maintain a polite facade of respect toward someone or something while intentionally avoiding actual involvement or keeping a safe distance.

2. Detailed Meaning and Nuances

「敬而远之」 contains the following nuances:

• The Psychology of Avoidance: This is not just about simple dislike; it refers to a calculated decision to stay away because involvement is deemed troublesome or beyond one's control.
• The Polite Facade: The term implies that one does not show overt hostility. Instead, by maintaining a 'respectful' pose, one avoids friction while ensuring no intimacy develops.
• Nature of the Target: The target is often a difficult boss, an aggressive individual, or an incomprehensible situation where direct confrontation is best avoided.

3. Usage

「敬而远之」 is mainly used in the following contexts:

• Interpersonal Relationships: Used when dealing with people whose personalities are difficult or aggressive, where one chooses to be polite but distant to avoid conflict.
  • Example:「对于那种喜欢搬弄是非的人，大家都是敬而远之。」
    （Everyone tends to keep their distance from people who like to spread rumors and stir up trouble.）
• Workplace and Social Strategy: Used to describe a cautious attitude toward powerful figures or strict superiors where getting too close might lead to trouble.
  • Example:「虽然他是老板的亲戚，但同事们对他总是敬而远之，不敢深交。」
    （Even though he is a relative of the boss, his colleagues always keep him at arm's length and do not dare to become close friends.）
• Specific Topics or Risks: Can be applied to troublesome tasks, complex arguments, or risky ventures that one prefers not to get involved in.
  • Example:「我对这种高风险的投资项目一向是敬而远之。」
    （I have always steered clear of high-risk investment projects like this one.）

Additional Examples:

1. 那只狗看起来很凶，路人都对它敬而远之。
   （That dog looks very fierce, so all the passersby give it a wide berth.）
2. 他脾气古怪，邻居们都对他敬而远之。
   （He has a strange temperament, so the neighbors all keep their distance from him.）
3. 对于这种复杂的办公室政治，我只能敬而远之。
   （When it comes to this kind of complex office politics, I can only stay well away from it.）
4. 虽然他是专家，但他傲慢的态度让人敬而远之。
   （Although he is an expert, his arrogant attitude keeps people at a distance.）

4. Cultural Background and Notes

• Origin: This idiom comes from the Analects (论语 - Lún Yǔ), specifically the 'Yong Ye' (雍也) chapter. Confucius (孔子) was asked about wisdom, and he replied that one should respect spiritual beings (鬼神 - guǐ shén) but keep a distance from them.
• Evolution of Meaning: Originally, it was a piece of positive advice about maintaining a 'wise distance' from the supernatural. In modern Chinese, however, it is almost always used with a negative or sarcastic nuance to mean 'avoiding someone because they are a nuisance.'
• Usage Caution: You should never tell a superior directly that you are treating them with 敬而远之 (jìng ér yuǎn zhī), as it implies you find them difficult to deal with or are intentionally avoiding them.

5. Similar and Opposite Idioms

• Similar Idioms:
  • 若即若离 (ruò jí ruò lí): To maintain a vague, non-committal relationship; neither too close nor too far.
  • 退避三舍 (tuì bì sān shè): To give someone a wide berth or retreat to avoid conflict.link
• Opposite Idioms:
  • 平易近人 (píng yì jìn rén): Amiable and easy to approach; approachable.
  • 亲密无间 (qīn mì wú jiàn): To be on extremely intimate terms; no distance between two people.
  • 形影不离 (xíng yǐng bù lí): To be inseparable, always together.link
  • 朝夕相处 (zhāo xī xiāng chǔ): To be together from morning till night.link

6. Summary

The idiom 敬而远之 (jìng ér yuǎn zhī) describes a social strategy where one remains civil and respectful on the surface but avoids getting close to a person or situation. While it originated from the teachings of Confucius (孔子) regarding spiritual matters, in modern usage, it often carries a slightly negative or ironic nuance, referring to the act of avoiding someone who is difficult, troublesome, or incompatible.